Are you aware?

I was inspired tonight. A memory I often think about, usually in church, sometimes when comforting my children...shined through with a little more meaning for me tonight. When I'm singing in church, amoung the crowded pews, my voice probably not heard, I keep it down often...not wanting to catch anyone's attention with my cracking or off pitch voice of an..no not the voice of an angel. Then my thoughts turn to my late Grandfather who was quite the accomplished church choir singer...who would be so proud if I sang louder. No matter how I sounded. He was probably listening to me every Sunday and smiling. Next my thoughts shifted to my childhood. Sitting next to my mother in church, clinging to the sound of her voice while she faithfully sang every word with confidence. I smile remembering the comfort her singing brought me. The smell of her hair, the lotion on her soft skin, while I cuddled closer to enjoy her voice. Now, all grown up, I realize that to others, bless you Mom, but she too doesn't carry a pitch all so well. But she was my mother, who sang to me since I was tiny in her arms. To me it was the voice of an angel. That does it. I then sing louder, nothing crazy here...I'm no American Idol...just confident now to stop hiding my voice in the crowd. I always realize halfway through the first song each Sunday (maybe I'm waking up about then)...that my children seem to like my singing. They've always asked for more...leaned in close...looked up at me with a smile. Maybe they would grow up remembering this and they would follow my example and always participate in church. Not be afraid to sing, pass that onto their children, provide their kids with that comfort, that opportunity to discover music (who knows, maybe someone will get Granddad's singing gene). So, I think of this often. Remind myself of this often, when I'm tired on Sunday and not feeling like sticking out. Well tonight at my RCIA class we were talking about song being a form of prayer. I'd always realized that my children liked my voice no matter how painful it was to others. But someone pointed out that God gave us our voice. He won't be disappointed by what he hears. He's the one who picked out whatever voice you ended up with. It will thrill him to have it thrown back at him in song! That hadn't even occured to me. That someone else was listening when I sang...not just my children. Someone else who would appreciate it. So, hope I didn't dive too deep for anyone, but just something simple that I was aware of, but now understand more. So keep singing to those little ones. They may hold it in one of the fondest corners of their hearts forever. It may teach them something for years to come? Thanks Mom, for the never ending gift!